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As Jose nears 50, he commits to growth

Jose, standing in yard, smilingJose is a current resident at Renewed Hope, the men’s Life Recovery Program at RMA SFV.

This is his story:

Jose said that when he was a kid growing up in Oxnard, he had more energy than the average child. In fact, he was diagnosed with Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) when he was in first grade, but he didn’t find out until much later. “My parents didn’t tell me,” Jose said. “They didn’t allow me to get to a doctor or take a prescription.

“I liked school, but I just couldn’t stay still,” he added. “I was so impulsive and would do things without thinking. I started getting in trouble. I was always smart, I just didn’t know how to apply it.” I’d just react on energy. I was always the funny one, the attention-getter.

Jose started drinking and getting into fights. The next year, he got in trouble with the law and the school expelled him. He went to juvenile hall for two months for burglary. He went back to school briefly but dropped out.

But Jose met a girl—she had already graduated and was taking college classes—and she encouraged him to go back to high school. “It took six years, but it was worth it—I graduated,” Jose said.

The two got married young and they had two children. Jose experienced “a pull, a sort-of tug o’ war” between being a family man and succumbing to a lifestyle of drugs and criminal activity. At 23, Jose was arrested for robbery with a firearm and went to prison for 13 years. “Prison was a whole different ball game,” he said. “It was not a nice place.”

The last few years Jose was in prison, he started considering God and studying a bit. While he says he “wasn’t living a Godly life in prison,” he felt something happening. He had been raised in the church and felt a pull back to Jesus. Jose got out on parole when he was 37. He went to Oxnard College and started working toward a sociology major and a minor in Chicano Studies. He met a girl, and had another baby. He got a job as a lead at Mission Produce. “I was ready to do it all, to use my intelligence to get ahead in life. I was happy.”

But the tide turned quickly. He was around 40 when he started drinking again and then using. He lost his job, dropped out of college, and his son’s mother moved out of state. “I ended up homeless,” Jose said. “I went back to prison—it became like a revolving door. I was powerless over drugs and alcohol. I was going in circles.” Last October, right before he was released from another stint in jail, Jose reached out to God. I got on my knees, and began to pray. I cried out to God and told Him I was ready to surrender and submit my life to Him.”

Jose came to Renewed Hope and he hasn’t looked back. “I’m taking it one day at a time,” he said. “Because of my hyperactivity, I often want to cut corners. Now, I need to slow down and just be a willing vessel. “I’m going to be 50. There is no turning back. There are no other alternatives aside from life in prison and death. My way didn’t get me anywhere. My strength will only get me so far. I have faith in Him.”

He also recently got baptized. “I invited my parents,” Jose said. “I wanted them to know they don’t have to worry about me. They are proud and so happy I’m here. it’s been like a reawakening.” Jose wants to complete his degree—he needs just 16 more credits. Aside from that, he is focused on gaining financial stability, and is grateful that his family is back in his life.

Jose, standing in yard, smiling

José es residente actual de Renewed Hope, el programa de recuperación de vida para hombres en RMA SFV.

Esta es su historia:

JosĂ© dijo que cuando era niño y crecĂ­a en Oxnard, tenĂ­a mĂĄs energĂ­a que el niño promedio. De hecho, le diagnosticaron trastorno por dĂ©ficit de atenciĂłn e hiperactividad (TDAH) cuando estaba en primer grado, pero no lo supo hasta mucho mĂĄs tarde. “Mis padres no me lo dijeron”, dijo JosĂ©. “No me permitieron ir al mĂ©dico ni tomar una receta.

"Me gustaba la escuela, pero no podĂ­a quedarme quieto", añadiĂł. “Era muy impulsivo y hacĂ­a las cosas sin pensar. EmpecĂ© a meterme en problemas. Siempre fui inteligente, pero no sabĂ­a cĂłmo aplicarlo”. Simplemente reaccionarĂ­a con la energĂ­a. Yo siempre fui la divertida, la que llamaba la atenciĂłn.

José empezó a beber y a meterse en peleas. Al año siguiente, tuvo problemas con la ley y la escuela lo expulsó. Estuvo dos meses en un centro de menores por robo. Regresó brevemente a la escuela pero la abandonó.

Pero JosĂ© conociĂł a una chica (ella ya se habĂ­a graduado y estaba tomando clases en la universidad) y ella lo animĂł a regresar a la escuela secundaria. “Me tomĂł seis años, pero valiĂł la pena: me graduĂ©â€, dijo JosĂ©.

Los dos se casaron jĂłvenes y tuvieron dos hijos. JosĂ© experimentĂł “un tirĂłn, una especie de tira y afloja” entre ser un hombre de familia y sucumbir a un estilo de vida de drogas y actividad criminal. A los 23 años, JosĂ© fue detenido por robo con arma de fuego y fue a prisiĂłn por 13 años. "La prisiĂłn era un juego de pelota completamente diferente", dijo. “No era un lugar agradable”.

Los Ășltimos años que JosĂ© estuvo en prisiĂłn, empezĂł a considerar a Dios y a estudiar un poco. Si bien dice que “no estaba viviendo una vida piadosa en prisiĂłn”, sintiĂł que algo sucedĂ­a. HabĂ­a sido criado en la iglesia y sintiĂł una atracciĂłn hacia JesĂșs. JosĂ© saliĂł en libertad condicional cuando tenĂ­a 37 años. Fue a Oxnard College y comenzĂł a trabajar para obtener una especializaciĂłn en sociologĂ­a y una especializaciĂłn en estudios chicanos. ConociĂł a una niña y tuvo otro bebĂ©. ConsiguiĂł un trabajo como lĂ­der en Mission Produce. “Estaba dispuesto a hacerlo todo, a utilizar mi inteligencia para salir adelante en la vida. Yo era feliz."

Pero la marea cambiĂł rĂĄpidamente. TenĂ­a alrededor de 40 años cuando empezĂł a beber de nuevo y luego a consumir. PerdiĂł su trabajo, abandonĂł la universidad y la madre de su hijo se mudĂł fuera del estado. “TerminĂ© sin hogar”, dijo JosĂ©. “RegresĂ© a la cĂĄrcel; se convirtiĂł en una puerta giratoria. Me sentĂ­ impotente ante las drogas y el alcohol. Estaba dando vueltas en cĂ­rculos”. En octubre pasado, justo antes de ser liberado de otro perĂ­odo en la cĂĄrcel, JosĂ© se acercĂł a Dios. Me arrodillĂ© y comencĂ© a orar. ClamĂ© a Dios y le dije que estaba lista para rendirme y entregarle mi vida”.

JosĂ© llegĂł a Esperanza Renovada y no mirĂł atrĂĄs. "Lo estoy tomando un dĂ­a a la vez", dijo. “Debido a mi hiperactividad, a menudo quiero tomar atajos. Ahora necesito reducir la velocidad y simplemente ser un recipiente dispuesto. “Voy a cumplir 50 años. No hay vuelta atrĂĄs. No hay otras alternativas aparte de la cadena perpetua y la muerte. Mi camino no me llevĂł a ninguna parte. Mi fuerza sĂłlo me llevarĂĄ hasta cierto punto. Tengo fe en Él”.

TambiĂ©n se bautizĂł recientemente. “InvitĂ© a mis padres”, dijo JosĂ©. “QuerĂ­a que supieran que no tienen que preocuparse por mĂ­. EstĂĄn orgullosos y muy felices de que estĂ© aquĂ­. Ha sido como un despertar”. JosĂ© quiere completar su carrera; solo necesita 16 crĂ©ditos mĂĄs. Aparte de eso, estĂĄ concentrado en lograr estabilidad financiera y estĂĄ agradecido de que su familia estĂ© de regreso en su vida.

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