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As Jose nears 50, he commits to growth
Jose is a current resident at Renewed Hope, the men’s Life Recovery Program at RMA SFV.
This is his story:
Jose said that when he was a kid growing up in Oxnard, he had more energy than the average child. In fact, he was diagnosed with Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) when he was in first grade, but he didn’t find out until much later. “My parents didn’t tell me,” Jose said. “They didn’t allow me to get to a doctor or take a prescription.
“I liked school, but I just couldn’t stay still,” he added. “I was so impulsive and would do things without thinking. I started getting in trouble. I was always smart, I just didn’t know how to apply it.” I’d just react on energy. I was always the funny one, the attention-getter.
Jose started drinking and getting into fights. The next year, he got in trouble with the law and the school expelled him. He went to juvenile hall for two months for burglary. He went back to school briefly but dropped out.
But Jose met a girl—she had already graduated and was taking college classes—and she encouraged him to go back to high school. “It took six years, but it was worth it—I graduated,” Jose said.
The two got married young and they had two children. Jose experienced “a pull, a sort-of tug o’ war” between being a family man and succumbing to a lifestyle of drugs and criminal activity. At 23, Jose was arrested for robbery with a firearm and went to prison for 13 years. “Prison was a whole different ball game,” he said. “It was not a nice place.”
The last few years Jose was in prison, he started considering God and studying a bit. While he says he “wasn’t living a Godly life in prison,” he felt something happening. He had been raised in the church and felt a pull back to Jesus. Jose got out on parole when he was 37. He went to Oxnard College and started working toward a sociology major and a minor in Chicano Studies. He met a girl, and had another baby. He got a job as a lead at Mission Produce. “I was ready to do it all, to use my intelligence to get ahead in life. I was happy.”
But the tide turned quickly. He was around 40 when he started drinking again and then using. He lost his job, dropped out of college, and his son’s mother moved out of state. “I ended up homeless,” Jose said. “I went back to prison—it became like a revolving door. I was powerless over drugs and alcohol. I was going in circles.” Last October, right before he was released from another stint in jail, Jose reached out to God. I got on my knees, and began to pray. I cried out to God and told Him I was ready to surrender and submit my life to Him.”
Jose came to Renewed Hope and he hasn’t looked back. “I’m taking it one day at a time,” he said. “Because of my hyperactivity, I often want to cut corners. Now, I need to slow down and just be a willing vessel. “I’m going to be 50. There is no turning back. There are no other alternatives aside from life in prison and death. My way didn’t get me anywhere. My strength will only get me so far. I have faith in Him.”
He also recently got baptized. “I invited my parents,” Jose said. “I wanted them to know they don’t have to worry about me. They are proud and so happy I’m here. it’s been like a reawakening.” Jose wants to complete his degree—he needs just 16 more credits. Aside from that, he is focused on gaining financial stability, and is grateful that his family is back in his life.
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